John Black
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Wanker Word of the Week: Heteronormative

Wanker Words are words frequently used by wankers. Particularly those of the left-wing persuasion.

You’re having a perfectly normal conversation, talking about your weekend. You mention going to a wedding. Then out of nowhere the wanker tells you he finds weddings too ‘patriarchal’ and an outmoded ‘heteronormative’ custom. You blink and nod and wonder what the hell he’s on about.

Well, after reading my break down of the most common Wanker Words, you’ll know. You’ll be primed to expose lefty wankers everywhere as the spouters of pure crapola that they undoubtedly are.

But we shouldn’t be too hard on them. These concepts get poured into the wankers’ skulls during their University Arts degrees and they spend the rest of their lives trying to use them in conversation or on the Internet as a way of justifying their poor choices in education and the huge student loan it’s saddled them with.


This one came up a lot during the gay marriage debate. A sane individual might think it a mere accurate descriptor of reality. Heterosexuality is normal. In the sense of "conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected" (Oxford definition). Homosexuals are in the minority, 4% of the American population according to Gallup, therefore it is not 'standard' or 'expected'. If you were laying bets on whether a random stranger was gay and were betting fifty/fifty, you'd lose your shirt pretty quick. This is a statistical reality and not a moral judgement, but it does explain why society is geared towards straights. It can be blamed on the wishes of the majority, just like Brexit, Trump, and Marvel movies.

However, the term heteronormative is always used by wankers pejoratively. As in "The traditional family is a repressive heteronormative structure." Or "You don’t like women with hairy legs! That’s so heteronormative!" It was coined by uber-gayist Michael Warner, one of the founders of Queer Theory, in the early nineties. Examples according to the Everyday Feminism website are women not being 'socialized' to approach men in bars and men calling women ‘baby’. The possibility this routine heterosexual behaviour could be derived from something ‘innate’ for example men being more indiscriminate in seeking sexual partners than women, is of course never considered. It’s just our heteronormative society doing some heteronormative brainwashing.

A lot rides on heterosexuality – the survival of the human race. Is it not reasonable we privilege it in society via media, government policy and social custom? Or should society be aligned with the interests of the exception? As long as true social and legal anti-gay oppression is outlawed (as it is in the West) it is an act of supreme egotism to expect society to reform its mores around your personal sexual predilections.

At heart like most wanker words, heteronormative is a facile redundancy. It tells us what we already know; it describes reality accurately. That this is viewed as a negative, shows how twisted radical lefty dogma has become.