Golriz Ghahraman - Standing Up for a Dog's Right to Its Day in Court

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Satire

Golriz Ghahraman could make a human rights issue out of a minor rules change for hiring the local memorial hall. So there is certainly nothing that could be presented to the New Zealand Parliament that would not provide an opportunity for her to lay out her bona fides with regard to one noble cause or another. There are no wave through legislation tweaks or common sense, cross-party initiatives when you are on Ms Ghahraman’s crusade against the natural order of everything.

It was no surprise then, this evening, when we were treated to another of the social justice princess’s virtue signalling, so-special, posturing, condescending, patronising speeches, flagging the Green party opposition to the first reading of the Dog Control (Category 1 offences) Amendment Bill. Never mind that there was unanimous support from all the other parties for Ian Mckelvie’s Private Member’s Bill. The rest of the chamber must have been somehow duped into thinking that this was a sensible effort to unclog the criminal justice system by allowing magistrates and JPs to deal with a raft of minor dog control offences.

Fortunately, Golriz was there to put everyone straight. Apparently this simple measure to free up Judges to spend more time on more serious cases represents a major human rights issue. Despite the reassurance of several MPs who are also JPS, that JPs receive more than adequate training to deal with this level of offending, apparently if you are charged with not having a current dog license or not keeping your mutt on a leash in a public area, you will not receive the benefit of due process unless you are heard in the district court.

Perhaps worried that her audience were not completely convinced of her capacity to overplay her hand, Golriz decided to double down by making it an animal rights issue as well. Never mind the hapless dog owner not getting his day in the big court, what about the poor dog on death row? Will nobody else make a stand for these disenfranchised, marginalised canines? I guess it’ll have to be our green goddess once again who raises our awareness, pricks our consciences and leaves us racked with guilt that we just aren’t doing enough for these victims.

Unfortunately for Golriz, only her Green colleagues could see the justice and righteousness in her position (woe-betide any Green MP who questions the validity of one the Special One's causes). The rest of the house happily moved Mckelvie's sensible, workman-like Bill to its second reading. Clearly they were allowing their common sense to blind them to the vital issues at play. Golriz has much more work to do in that area...

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